Once loved
by Mnemosyne1211
Summary: He once loved her but things change. The Winchester brothers are not directly in here but they are the subject of the conversation between the Creator and Lilith.


They met in neutral ground, which is in itself, a huge joke because there's no such thing as neutral ground for any of them. Regardless of definitions; both parties decided to meet in a quaint Roman restaurant just outside of the Vatican. She dressed to impress, like she always does. Vanity is her greatest sin and best virtue. He was waiting for her, just like a perfect gentleman. He may not be a gentleman in the truest sense of the word, but he was assumed to be perfect. He stands up as she approaches and pulls a chair for her.

"So nice to see you down from your glorious throne. Changing your ways?"

He let out a small laugh. "Don't look too hopeful. I can mingle like the rest of you. Don't forget that I make all the rules."

"Oh you never let us forget that."

"Don't be like that. You know why rules are in place. There's…"

"…always a reason. I know. I have the DVD of your greatest lines. Got if half price over at Blockbuster."

"I wonder what the critics say about that…" He thought, amused as he did.

"Well, publicity is publicity. You kinda need it now."

He smiled – just a civil and polite smile as he took his seat across her. She rummaged through her purse to get her cigarette case and silver lighter.

"It's a non-smoking section." He states, matter of factly.

She shrugs. "Uh-huh. And what would they do to me?" She proceeds to light up and takes a long drag. "But enough teasing and broken promises. Why did you call this…tete a tete?"

"Let's clear up this little misunderstanding."

"Little misunderstanding? Galileo and the pope had a little misunderstanding. This is not a little misunderstanding."

He raised an eyebrow "I guess you're still miffed."

"You think?"

He raises both hands, palms out in visible surrender. "Okay, let's save the hostility for when it's really needed. I'm here to talk about the Winchester boys."

She raises her slender and perfectly manicured finger as she blows nicotine out. "Boy. Winchester boy. You have one."

"And that is why we are talking right now."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Typical. You change the rules at the last minute. So typical. And you preach of rules and absolute obedience to it? Nice."

He smirked. "I do make the rules, Lilith."

She glares at her plate for a second, imagining it's his head. "Rub it in, why don't you? What do you need Sam for? He's already tainted. You can't take it back, not even you can break that. In fact, you allowed it."

He sighed. "That I did."

"Bang up job there, Slick."

His eyes suddenly turned golden, almost amber as he looked at her. "Do not forget your place, demon."

She glared back, all white in the eyes and equally angry. "Oh I know where my place is. I am where I am because of me. I did this. I made a dark and musty cave into a freaking beach villa in Cabo, no thanks to you. I made my glorious hell into a fucking Club MeD!"

"You used to call it your little hell."

"Well…" She smiled sweetly "It ain't so little anymore, is it?"

He leaned back and let allt he other emotions fade away. He needed to be the rational one. "This isn't about your God or me"

"Then what is it about, King of Heaven?"

"It's about the Winchesters, Satanielle."

"Don't call me that." She stubbed her cigarette into the small bread plate. "I haven't been called that for 20 millennia."

"I apologize. I just thought you'd like to be called by what I used to call you."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Are you getting sentimental in your old age? There might be hope for you yet." She smirked.

"Who do you think created sentimentality? Or even hope for that matter?"

"You forget to invent modesty or you just immune to it? Besides, you should know that names really matter. How many names have we gone through? Satanielle, Yahweh, God, demon, Samael, Yehovah…it doesn't change who we are." She waves her hand gracefully, batting invisible thoughts hanging in the air.

"You're changing the topic."

"Oh right. You're a sharp one. Can't get anything past you." Sarcasm dripped like honey from a spoon.

"The Winchesters, Lilith?" His tone was level but had a hint of impatience.

She gave him a steely gaze. It was business now – Creator or not, she wasn't about to let him have his way. He's been having his way since the beginning. She lit up a new cigarette. "You already have the older brother. Rules state you can only have one. You raised him, nay, plucked him from my hell. Isn't that enough?"

"Sam has not done any wrong."

"Yet. He has not done any wrong yet. Well, at least not to your side." She added the last statement with venom and mirth.

"He doesn't want this. This isn't what was in his heart."

She gave a low throaty chuckle. "This isn't about what his heart wants and you know that. The difference between you and men is that men pay the price for what you want. You just reap the benefits."

He took a deep breath, obviously offended. "A deal then."

She almost choked on her cigarette. She looked at him as if he were going to deliver the punch line but it never game. "You're dealing? You want a deal?" She speaks in a voice that wavers dangerously even as she tries to exude a poise she doesn't own.

"Humor me." He states stoically. There shouldn't be gray areas. It angers him that it isn't about contrast anymore.

"Alright. What are the terms? I can't exactly give you ten years…" She laughs in spite of herself. He doesn't react. "Wow. If ever there's a case of someone needing to get a sense of humor…"

"If Sam willingly uses his powers to hurt anyone on our side, I will not claim him."

"Your lackey Uriel isn't making that a challenge, you know."

"If, even after everything, he stays on the path his brother is on, you will renounce your claim."

"He does have Ruby and is starting to trust her, you do realize?"

He looked pensive but determined. A realization dawned on her and she broke out into a shit eating grin. "Why you sick bastard…I never thought you got your rocks out of this. Tsk! Tsk! Naughty little Creator…"

He still doesn't react.

"It's fucking Cain and Abel all over again."

"Is it a deal?"

She thinks for a moment. "An addendum, if you may."

He gestures with his hand for her to go on.

"If and when the youngest Winchester uses his gifts, against anyone on your side, I will let him be unclaimed. However, if he does use his powers on anyone on my side, I want compensation."

"What would that compensation be?"

She smiles, " I want you to bestow upon me…Grace."

He couldn't help it. He looked quizzed. "You want Grace? But then, that would make you…"

"The very thing I'm supposed to despise."

He thought hard. There's something she isn't saying.

"No deal? Too hot for your taste?"

She was smart and she had the upper hand. Both parties knew it.

"Why?" He asked.

"I'd think it was obvious."

He stared at her, as if seeing her for the first time. She looked away, as if trying to compose what she was about to say.

"Don't you tire of it? Don't you tire of this whole war? In this moment, allow me to be truthful without having to deal with your judgment. I tire of it. I tire of the arrogance and the posturing. I tire of the conspiring and conceiving sin and taking score. The only thing that gets me going is the pain I inflict on humans. I hurt them because I envy them.

We only get half of what they feel and it's the bad half – the paranoia, the deceit, the jealously, the suffering and the anger. Don't get me wrong, we have found solace in these emotions, but it's not quite enough. I want to feel comfort. I want to feel pure joy. I want to be loved." She said the last part so softly that if he wasn't who he was, it wouldn't have been heard.

"I loved you, Lilith."

"Loved. Past tense. I'm no longer worthy of your love."

Then there was silence. She shook her head as if shaking away any remnants of her momentary weakness.

"No deal. You have Dean. You chose. Even you can't break the rules once you've made them." She stood by to take her leave. He stood up out of politeness – always the gracious one.

"I will see you soon, Lilith."

"And I you, Creator."

-fin-


End file.
